By Matea Kaleb (2nd year Diplomacy and International Relations student)
I am a student of Diplomacy and International Relations at the University of Derby and I come from Croatia. It had been a dream of mine to study abroad for some time. This is my story of becoming an international student at Derby University which began last September.
I come from a beautiful country full of richness in history, scenery, and overall appeal. I come from a proud country full of people with strong temperaments, and we are known for being quite steadfast. Whatever we do, we do in spite of something (a key driver in Croatia).
One day my 13 year old self declared, ”Mum, I am going to study abroad!’’. When I said that to my mum, now almost seven years ago, she chuckled, considering teenage ambitions to be short-lived.I was overly excited about something that was not going to happen anytime soon. And yet some years later, here I am! The second time I told my mum of my desire to study abroad, it turned out to be a year before I actually came to University. This time the chuckle became a worry. Shout out to my mum, for actually letting me do what I have done! Could not have done it without you.
In order to get here, I traveled on a plane for the first time. When I first arrived, my first thoughts were that there is a lot of international students. Which was a great plus. Having something in common with everyone in a room full of people meant a great deal. You see, being away from home is one topic that starts all conversations:
Going to University is everything they have ever told you it was going to be. And everything they have not, at the same time. I have never felt too different or left out. You see, there is this tricky part everyone forgets to mention about Uni and that is that all of it – all the emotions, all the experiences, all the thrill, all the possibilities, all that sudden freedom – can (and will) go to your head. It is crucial to learn as soon as possible how to handle the new surroundings as an adult, and that is when the child within rebels. ‘’What is this?’’, it screams as you just woke up from a night-out but the water bill came in your name that same morning. Suddenly, you cannot phone your mum for her to sort it out. You have this unbeknown flood of responsibilities.
I trained myself quite early on in this strange new lifestyle to act like a mini-adult because I figured: this is it, this is what I willingly signed up for. I described it as a point of no return, while singing the tune of the song with the same name from Phantom of the Opera. Still, I found myself doing those little things which made me happy. I just knew to distinguish priorities from want. Goals from wish. Ambitions from dreams. I still do cherish, ever so fondly, that child within my spirit. Without it nothing would make sense. Grown-ups seem to forget that.
Whenever I get homesick. I have to deal with it. I cannot really let my mum know because she would want to fly here even though she knows she cannot, immediately. I cannot just not eat or wait for someone else to cook for me just because I am feeling extra lazy that Sunday afternoon,. I cannot just expect for my washing to do itself or ship a suitcase full of dirty clothes to my family and let them return it fresh and clean. I cannot ask my family member to sort out a broken washing machine for me, or to phone a handyman just because I am shy or not sure how to explain the malfunction. There is something cursed about feeling helpless, and I do not want it for anyone. There are those days, but there are really different ones as well, and the key is to notice both. Give importance to both kinds. The good and the bad. The smooth and the rough. The happy and the sad.
My path is not picture perfect. I work two part-time jobs. One in The Distillery, local bar, the other at the University of Derby in the International Student Centre where I help out with the Erasmus project. I still attend my lectures regularly, and I consider myself an honorable student. That being said, I still end up going out even though I have to wake up early for work or a lecture. I am still, sometimes, late for the same work. I still end up doing my essays at the very last minute (Sorry to my lecturers reading this!), meaning I submit in the nick of time. I still end up spending half of my day in bed if I have a day off. To be honest, I think this is something not discussed enough as if it is a taboo topic. It appears as if there is some shame in being young and somewhat reckless, but let’s face it: if not now, when? There needs to be a balance in everything you do or do not do. There need to be mistakes. Otherwise, how will you know? How will you learn?
Studying away from home (or far, far away) is not for everyone. I gained an extreme sense of pride. I did something for myself not many can say they have: I dared. Often people ask me why did I leave such a beautiful country to get here? Well, it is plain and simple: opportunities. I have done more in these last two years for my future career, for my self-development and self-growth, and for myself in general than I ever could have if I stayed. Being away is hard, but it is rewarding, at the same time.
Photo credit: http://www.vivateachers.org/lesley-study-abroad-find-out-everything-you-need-and-more/